HOW, like seriously HOW, is it still January? As soon as something enjoyable, such as halfterm hols seem within sight, time seems to enjoy going insanely slowly in order to taunt innocent people like me with it's frustrating non-passing. I, of course, have an exciting and fun-filled, extremely organised halfterm awaiting me. I just haven't planned anything yet. I do know that I intend to have a lot of fun and do many many stupid things.
I spent a pleasant afternoon lolling on Gilly's bed with 6 wonderful people, discussing life and everything it includes. One phenomenom (hahahahahahahahah I love that word so so much) we pondered upon was the fact that all adults are boring, give or take. We made a pact, sealed by the wearing of dinosaur sillybands (which I'm hoping weren't too important a part of it, as I have just looked at my wrist and realised I've lost mine), to not become boring as we get older. Not necessarily to remain immature and 17 for the rest of my life, just not to be afraid of doing stupid/slightly inappropriate things, or laughing so hard you have to crouch down/wee and people stare at you, or being somewhat irresponsible with money from time to time. I'm not necessarily saying I'm gonna become a reckless and impulsive maniac of a woman, who jumps off buildings/mountains, just that it is my dream to live an exciting and at times spontaneous life, filled with things that I'd never expect.
Whilst laying on this, rather crowded, bed. I announced "Do you know what I am?". After the tyrade of immature/amusing/just plain rude responses this caused ("A man?" "A VIRGIN?" "Hairy?" "6000 years old?" "White!" "Burgernips?" "A whore?"), they finally allowed me to finish. "I am happy!" I concluded. And I really am. I don't say this in a pretentious way, my life isn't perfect and there are still plenty of things I'd change, but I think I've finally learnt what Paul bangs on about in Philippians 4, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." I think happiness is a sort of a choice. I'm seriously not trying to belittle illnesses like depression, I know that they are real and that the sufferers have no control over it. I'm just saying that, often, we can conciously decide that we're not going to let life get us down as far as we can. There comes a point where we are able to say "This sucks, but I won't let it alter my overall happiness."
A massive part of this for me comes from being secure in my faith. I find that my level of optimism directly corresponds with the level of security I feel have in Jesus. Not because believing in God makes everything better, but because it's such an integral part of who I am that nothing really feels right when I'm feeling precarious in regard to my faith. I just find myself a lot more likely to let myself become depressed with everything and I will easily sink into this rut of hating everything and being really down all the time, cos there's something not right within my heart.
WHOA so that was uncharacteristically serious! Nom nom nom.
Also, I have a YouTube, which I'm sure most of you already know but if you didn't then maybe if you get two minutes to spare you could visit
www.youtube.com/spanarrr and take a look at my videos??? :D
God bless,
Love Anna x
Monday, 30 January 2012
Thursday, 26 January 2012
I have not disappeared.
So, 3 months appear to have passed since my last addition to my blog was posted, claiming that I would attempt to post once a week at least. It would seem despite several recent assertions that I will become an more organised and put together person, I have failed miserably. Here's to changing habits....
Seriously where does time go?! It seems incredible to me that a year and a half ago I was starting Sixth Form, wide-eyed, innocent and shy as they come (LOL that's a joke, I have never been shy, or innocent. I am somewhat wide-eyed though.) And now I am on the home straight of school before leaving for university in September-ish time (Hah, this is if I actually manage to achieve decent grades). My friends Gilly and Smit get all squirmy and
start yelling "SHUT UP I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE" if I start to mention this fact. In their little worlds, if they don't think about it, it's not happening.
This is similar to the attitude of children - if they don't look you in the eye, or alternatively if they make weird noises very loudly over your voice, then the telling off or warning they are recieving simply does not exist. Humanity's capacity to block out bad things in their own little box constantly amazes me. I do it myself. I tend to go for "If I don't think about it too much, then it won't happen, bother me, or exist." Unfortuneately this strategy does me no favours when the ignored matter is coursework, revision, or learning my Grade 6 ballet syllabus. Looming exams have a nasty habit of not disappearing when forgotten about. This outlook has been useful when applied to situations or even entire people, however.
I tend to work best to an urgent schedule - if it doesn't need doing yet, it doesn't need doing. Well I say this but, I think what I mean is "I am lazy, and procrastinate for as long as I possibly can and do the said task at the latest possible moment I can live it till." My only motivation to do anything earlier tends to be either the knowledge that a very good TV programme is on tonight and I'd rather get it done, or money, which I am of course never offered.
In other news, I have developed a mild allergic reaction to the permanent henna I have used to dye my hair, and am consequently allergic to my own hair. Lovely. I stumbled across this question on facebook today, "If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance you'll be correct? a) 25% b) 50% c) 60% d) 25%". Cannot even begin to describe the amount to which this has confused me. I feel like my brain is spilling out my ears and nostrils. I also played Sims for 2 hours straight with Gilly today. There is something bizarrely satisfying about living vicariously through computer-generated people...
Blog posts will attempt to be more frequent. But I wouldn't hold out too much hope. I'll try!
God bless,
Anna :)
Seriously where does time go?! It seems incredible to me that a year and a half ago I was starting Sixth Form, wide-eyed, innocent and shy as they come (LOL that's a joke, I have never been shy, or innocent. I am somewhat wide-eyed though.) And now I am on the home straight of school before leaving for university in September-ish time (Hah, this is if I actually manage to achieve decent grades). My friends Gilly and Smit get all squirmy and
start yelling "SHUT UP I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE" if I start to mention this fact. In their little worlds, if they don't think about it, it's not happening.
This is similar to the attitude of children - if they don't look you in the eye, or alternatively if they make weird noises very loudly over your voice, then the telling off or warning they are recieving simply does not exist. Humanity's capacity to block out bad things in their own little box constantly amazes me. I do it myself. I tend to go for "If I don't think about it too much, then it won't happen, bother me, or exist." Unfortuneately this strategy does me no favours when the ignored matter is coursework, revision, or learning my Grade 6 ballet syllabus. Looming exams have a nasty habit of not disappearing when forgotten about. This outlook has been useful when applied to situations or even entire people, however.
I tend to work best to an urgent schedule - if it doesn't need doing yet, it doesn't need doing. Well I say this but, I think what I mean is "I am lazy, and procrastinate for as long as I possibly can and do the said task at the latest possible moment I can live it till." My only motivation to do anything earlier tends to be either the knowledge that a very good TV programme is on tonight and I'd rather get it done, or money, which I am of course never offered.
In other news, I have developed a mild allergic reaction to the permanent henna I have used to dye my hair, and am consequently allergic to my own hair. Lovely. I stumbled across this question on facebook today, "If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance you'll be correct? a) 25% b) 50% c) 60% d) 25%". Cannot even begin to describe the amount to which this has confused me. I feel like my brain is spilling out my ears and nostrils. I also played Sims for 2 hours straight with Gilly today. There is something bizarrely satisfying about living vicariously through computer-generated people...
Blog posts will attempt to be more frequent. But I wouldn't hold out too much hope. I'll try!
God bless,
Anna :)
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