This is quite a deep post, so apologies if you're not in the mood...stop reading now? :P
I have been called cynical many times by more romanticised people in my life because of my inability to have faith in romantic love. I wouldn't go as far to say I don't believe in it, its just I find it a rather odd concept. I very much believe in love, what else is there?! But I feel like there's a highly idealised and Disneycised notion of romantic love that is both unattainable and unrealistic.
Surely what we know as love between friends is realistically just friendship, and mutual affection and trust, which is a perfectly great definition for what love itself means. I find it difficult to separate the idea of being 'in love' with this - I think 'love' in the romantic sense is nothing more than mutual physical attraction, however strong, and friendship, hopefully quite strong. As far as I can, these two ideas cover most 'love' outside of a familial basis.
People often talk of 'falling in love' with someone, and this is another concept I am sceptical about. Sure, I think it's possible to grow to love someone. But for me, I suppose what some people would call 'falling in love' would be simply coming to the dawning realisation that this person's happiness is intrinsic to my own, and that's not something that is entirely confined to romantic relationships. It probably sounds harsh, but I think a lot of the hype surrounding romantic love is merely a fabrication, something we invent to attend to one of our most primitive and basic needs - to be liked, to be attractive, to be loved.
I also have qualms about the idea of a soulmate, or 'the One'. I am perfectly happy to admit that there are probably thousands of people in the world that I have the potential to be 'in love with'. If all we looked for in a partner was physical attraction and personal compatibility then for most of us there are going to be a lot of people who could potentially fit the mould. But obviously, most of us don't have the dilemma of having 60 potential lovers on our tail. Why? Because circumstances and simple chance play a massive role. I think its possible to manufacture whatever emotions you feel like in most humans, if you have the right combination of circumstances. I'm not saying that we're easily manipulated, but when it comes to relationships, humans often let their emotions rule their head. Also, it seems almost too obvious to mention that you will never meet the vast majority of your potential suitors, as the world is a big place.
I'm not trying put a damper on love, I honestly think it can be the most beautiful thing ever. But I just reckon it's sometimes useful to put our skeptical heads on and look at the way we behave through critical eyes. Our idea of love can be so contrived, sometimes I think we need to take it back to its roots.
Ok that's my thought for the day ;) new post coming soon I hope...
God bless, don't be stressed! (Its my new mantra...)
Love Anna :)
