all you need to do smile?

if there's one thing that life's taught me, it's that this (^) isn't really true. sometimes curling up and crying is the best possible thing you can do for your heart!
happiness is a funny thing. what is actual happiness? is an emotion, a feeling, something which you are one moment and then you're not? or is it a state, something which you remain even when something fleeting poos you off or annoys you? as a general rule, i would say it's not not something which can be found in the sense of searching for it. it tends to be something which creeps up on you when you forget you want to be it.

the last time i can remember thinking "wow i'm actually happy!" was on sunday, which is i guess why i'm writing this blog at all. i had just been prayed for, and had this amazing sense of relief. i went to play just dance on the wii with my friends and somewhere in the midst of insanely camp dancing, losing by like 2 points to a boy and laughing like a loooonn, the thought hit me. whether it hit me so solidly at this moment is debatable. perhaps it was simply in the height of hilariousity and the power of the moment. i had this immense sense of release and comfort and i knew i was loved. by both my god and my friends.

i guess its that feeling of being loved by those you love which i think it true happiness. being loved is a fundamental human need, it links back to nearly all basic emotion, though admittedly not always in an obvious way.

so what is happiness? its a deeply individual thing. for me i suppose it comes down to three things. my happiness within myself, my happiness with others and my happiness with my faith.

happiness within yourself is that inexplicable need to accept ourselves and who we are. having a good self-image is fundamental to your personal happiness. because even if everybody else loves you, you have to like yourself before you can even begin to accept this love. loving yourself is never about change or conformity, but rather about accepting who you are and trying to love the parts you can.

happiness with others is more straightforward. like i said above, everybody has this indescribable yet undeniably present need to be loved. people who feel they are loved by those they love are almost always "happier" with their lot than victims of, for example, unrequited love or people who have bad relations with their loved ones. i suppose everyone needs to have people around them make them happy, and this is a crucial element to anyone's happiness.

happiness with your faith is an element which some may argue doesn't exist at all, but to me it is the most important of 3. whether or not you believe in God, you cannot deny that something is laid in human hearts from the beginning that cries out for bigger answers, and embraces the idea that a being bigger and greater than themselves is not only watching, but guiding you through life. happiness in your faith is essential, i believe, to be truly "happy". speaking from personal experience, i've seen people become desperately unhappy when they feel cut off or away from God, even if all the other supposed 'elements' of happiness are in place. like it or not, God affects happiness.

well this is the end of my first proper blog, i hope it has made you think and that you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it.

God bless,
Love, Anna :)